Fast or Feast
I have so many thoughts circling around in my head these days. One of the biggest things is diet, weight, eating, health, longevity. Those are enough to fill a lifetime of thoughts and I hope I will. It's not only important to my own eating, but also something I hope to work on in a career at some point. This doesn't mean I'm a pro at fasting/feasting and eating well. Not by a long shot. I think I could challenge any other sugar addict by how much I want and end up eating the stuff. For me, it's especially chocolate. So, despite my own efforts to "go keto" and do "intermittent fasting" I kind of always thought it was so hard and I didn't know if it would work.
I finally bit the bullet and got connected with a clinic that helps with this exact thing. In my mind they are the experts, but perhaps there are other organizations doing similar work. I love the explanations that I've read on their blog. It makes so much sense to me. Does one need to get help from a professional to stop eating for a time? No. And do I feel a little embarassed that I am paying someone so I am accountable for not eating? Maybe a little, but less so as today is day 3 and I have done above and beyond what I would have done on my own. And that's a big deal to me. Because the sugar cycle runs deep in me.
So, what have I done so far?
Saturday around noon I ate - it was some chocolate. I can't remember what else. I went to work and didn't eat. I walked on the treadmill during my meal break.
Sunday was the first Sunday of March, so I usually and religiously go without food or drink for 24 hours on this day. I did this and drank some water at about 4:00. I know going without water is not part of IDM or extended fasts, but I have been doing this since I was about 12 years old and it's been fine for me. I made dinner for my family and was kind of feeling irritable. Just the littlest thing would get a lecture started in me and some complaining. At about 8:00pm I felt like I was going to binge and just wanted to calm down a bit, so I had an avocado, which is also not recommended because it's either fast or feast, not halfway in between.
Monday morning was my IDM appointment. It was really helpful. I appreciated being able to say what was hard about it and talking to someone who talks to tons of people trying to fast. In-person will always trump online for me. Nadia's recommendation for me was to really feast, so I did. I picked up olives, avocados, bacon, and eggs from costco. I cooked the bacon, boiled some eggs, and made some homemade ranch dressing. I made a salad with spinach, two hard-boiled eggs, tons of ranch dressing and some bacon cut in small pieces. It was so good. I loved every bite. But I couldn't eat any more. It didn't sound appetizing, which is something I will need to get used to. In a "food is pleasure" way this was disappointing. I wanted more yummy food. But from someone who can endlessly eat sweets all day and it's never enough, this was nice.
Now it's Tuesday and I'm fasting today. Nadia said to aim for fasts longer than 24 hours. I guess I could eat dinner tonight, but I will try to go until at least lunch tomorrow. Currently, I am at 24 hours. I lifted weights and stretched at the gym this morning. I slept really well last night and woke up at 6:30 without an alarm. On the way home from the gym I had some food cravings and thought of Nutella. Then when I warmed up hot dogs for the girls' lunch they looked really good.
Concerns:
1. How can I fast while cooking three meals for a large family? Nadia explained that this is hard and people have to get used to it. So at the beginning it's especially tough.
2. What will I do when I have really bad hunger or cravings? Nadia said that feasting with those foods above should eliminate cravings. Eliminate! Can that happen? It would be amazing and I will have to write it down because it's hard for me to imagine. I am so entangled with sugar that everything spurs a thought of getting some chocolate and how great that will taste/feel. I mean this is my whole problem right here! This is why I realize I have gotten to where I am with weight and health and energy. And, sadly, this is probably how many people feel about sugar, including my dad. Sugar is my drug of choice and I'm giving it up with the support of others. And it's humbling to admit this. I don't want to be the needy sugar addict that has no control over their life and choices. But here I am. I felt really thankful to hear Nadia and Megan say they were carb addicts as well. Not only does that validate me, but I had also read on dietdoctor that sugar addiction excludes one from being able to fast. I can see where the bingeing could come in. I have been in that cycle for a while.
Nadia made it pretty clear yesterday that you are either feasting or fasting. This insight will change the way I approach meals so I don't have "a little" to hold me over until the next meal. I really eat.
I am so grateful to have started. I hope that I keep going with this and that some day fasting does become easy. Someone said recently, "Food isn't that important to me. I can go all day without eating." I want to know more about how this happens and I want to feel that, too.
I finally bit the bullet and got connected with a clinic that helps with this exact thing. In my mind they are the experts, but perhaps there are other organizations doing similar work. I love the explanations that I've read on their blog. It makes so much sense to me. Does one need to get help from a professional to stop eating for a time? No. And do I feel a little embarassed that I am paying someone so I am accountable for not eating? Maybe a little, but less so as today is day 3 and I have done above and beyond what I would have done on my own. And that's a big deal to me. Because the sugar cycle runs deep in me.
So, what have I done so far?
Saturday around noon I ate - it was some chocolate. I can't remember what else. I went to work and didn't eat. I walked on the treadmill during my meal break.
Sunday was the first Sunday of March, so I usually and religiously go without food or drink for 24 hours on this day. I did this and drank some water at about 4:00. I know going without water is not part of IDM or extended fasts, but I have been doing this since I was about 12 years old and it's been fine for me. I made dinner for my family and was kind of feeling irritable. Just the littlest thing would get a lecture started in me and some complaining. At about 8:00pm I felt like I was going to binge and just wanted to calm down a bit, so I had an avocado, which is also not recommended because it's either fast or feast, not halfway in between.
Monday morning was my IDM appointment. It was really helpful. I appreciated being able to say what was hard about it and talking to someone who talks to tons of people trying to fast. In-person will always trump online for me. Nadia's recommendation for me was to really feast, so I did. I picked up olives, avocados, bacon, and eggs from costco. I cooked the bacon, boiled some eggs, and made some homemade ranch dressing. I made a salad with spinach, two hard-boiled eggs, tons of ranch dressing and some bacon cut in small pieces. It was so good. I loved every bite. But I couldn't eat any more. It didn't sound appetizing, which is something I will need to get used to. In a "food is pleasure" way this was disappointing. I wanted more yummy food. But from someone who can endlessly eat sweets all day and it's never enough, this was nice.
Now it's Tuesday and I'm fasting today. Nadia said to aim for fasts longer than 24 hours. I guess I could eat dinner tonight, but I will try to go until at least lunch tomorrow. Currently, I am at 24 hours. I lifted weights and stretched at the gym this morning. I slept really well last night and woke up at 6:30 without an alarm. On the way home from the gym I had some food cravings and thought of Nutella. Then when I warmed up hot dogs for the girls' lunch they looked really good.
Concerns:
1. How can I fast while cooking three meals for a large family? Nadia explained that this is hard and people have to get used to it. So at the beginning it's especially tough.
2. What will I do when I have really bad hunger or cravings? Nadia said that feasting with those foods above should eliminate cravings. Eliminate! Can that happen? It would be amazing and I will have to write it down because it's hard for me to imagine. I am so entangled with sugar that everything spurs a thought of getting some chocolate and how great that will taste/feel. I mean this is my whole problem right here! This is why I realize I have gotten to where I am with weight and health and energy. And, sadly, this is probably how many people feel about sugar, including my dad. Sugar is my drug of choice and I'm giving it up with the support of others. And it's humbling to admit this. I don't want to be the needy sugar addict that has no control over their life and choices. But here I am. I felt really thankful to hear Nadia and Megan say they were carb addicts as well. Not only does that validate me, but I had also read on dietdoctor that sugar addiction excludes one from being able to fast. I can see where the bingeing could come in. I have been in that cycle for a while.
Nadia made it pretty clear yesterday that you are either feasting or fasting. This insight will change the way I approach meals so I don't have "a little" to hold me over until the next meal. I really eat.
I am so grateful to have started. I hope that I keep going with this and that some day fasting does become easy. Someone said recently, "Food isn't that important to me. I can go all day without eating." I want to know more about how this happens and I want to feel that, too.
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